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As per your request, lets get down with the art here

I'll give some comments, and then some crits.

First up,



A quite skillfull re-work of some of the official CLAMP art, chobits was a very beautiful work, and now you have portrayed their and your skill with an amazing accuracy.

A few notices though.

~ The main thing wrong here is the neck and shoulders. Her neck, is a bit on the thin side, and this contrasts gruesomely against the square shoulders you've given chii. Something you may want to look at for future reference. Such things can be simply solved by widening the neck a bit and rounding the soulders more.

~ You've done an amazing job with the hair, but as long as this characters is, mistakes can be made. I would simply like to point out the few areas that look like branches of a tree. Here, let me go into even further detail.



Sections where the hair flow into larger and smaller appearances tend to be a turn-off. One must pay extra attention when working with such length. Also, were seperate gatherings of hair branch off from the main mass, it seems forced, and stiffed. Perhaps you can come up with a way to eliminate such obstacles.



Here, it would be better to let the hair flow back into one stream instead of continuing the lines as you have. Without some really fine tuned lines that gives hair the proper "strandy" look, one must make some sacrafices. Now that we're up close and personal, you can see the lumps and bumps. These are often caused by shakes in the hand in such, or using multiple strokes per line. One, solid, smooth stroke is all it sould really take to make a line come into being. Something I urge you towards practising.

~ Even without highlighting it, we can see that you've made a few mistakes on the face as well. I'm mainly reffering to the chin, and the unbelievably high eye brows.

~ When working with graphite, even the lightest of perticles tend to get smudged, and little bit scaught in the paper create the grainy effect. This will always be a factor if you erase or do not use single strokes. If you continue to use a pencil, or a mechanical one for that matter, take care to try to reduce any erasing or mutli stroked lines that you do. I myself prefer the pen, since erasing is really a bad habit :ermm:, and is easier for the purposes of scanning in and coloring.


Alright, now for the next piccie.



A really stunning HUcaseal, and the pose is simply breath taking. As gorgeous as she is, though, we still can find some errors.

~ First things first, we have a pair of rather tempting legs Tempting, but the pose you have them in is a difficult one. For example, her right foreleg is much to long, leaving the rest of it quite out of porportion. It seems to mee that you were stretching them down a bit, but let us look at the pose. She is standing on her legt leg alone, no? So trying to get the other one to touch down is unnesesary. Now if you really want to put a vivid image in your mind, imagine her with both her legs on the ground. Legs are generally a good deal longer than the torso, but this too, has been quite xaggerated.

~ Now, look at her arms, and jocate the elbows. Straight? Not quite, they even bend backwards some, also a trick of the angle. It's be best to put a slight bend in the right direction, so such optical illusions do not become so painfully apparent.

~ Her forearms are a bit thick, but I'll let you live

~ Avast, look in detail at teh blades. The cool, smooth, deadly edges and curves of the yamato are not capable of being drawn with multiple lines. You can see in great detail what I've been saying all along, perhaps you'll take greater care in your next pieces.

Thats a wrap on that one.


Dear me, we have quite a ways to go dont we?



o.o

I really, really love the style in which the wings have been made. And I see you've put quite a bit of effort into the hilt of that sword ^_^

~ Lets start from the top this time shall we? The neck look a bit.. too erect. The muscles in the back there that come up to the back of the neck mainly give this effect, when the arms are raised, they generally stretch out a bit more, instead of coming straight down as you have portrayed them.

~ Unnaturally long arms... Its either one part or the other eh? here the begginings are quite long, and somewhat disturbing. But I must take some times to congradulate you with the shoulders, working in that area is explicitly difficult.also, on his right arm, it look like a second joint is placed there for the way the muscle dips in, into a curve around the whispy cloth that wraps the figure. Nice hands as well, though the area around the thumb is bulging somewhat.

~ Hips, the hips, even on a male, are not quite so thing. Inbetween the legs should start dipping back towards the middle, just like any female.

~ I wont say any more about muti stroke lines, just be aware that their hazard takes place in this picture as well.


My my.. how long will I drag on, neh?



An interesting scene, to say the least. I'll try to be brief with the rest of my crits.

~ The man on top is pretty much fine, except that the leg that extends off the page is quite a bit too long.

~ Kenshin's right hand is tiny, grasping the scabbard, you can easily tell that something is wrong there :O

~ Though its mostly the angle, kenshin's legs are also small. Bent as they are, can you see my point?

~ Is he grabbing the blade? o.o The scabbard is left behind in his right hand, so either the hilt of that sword is extrodinarily long, or he is holding another sword in its scabbard in his left hand.




Unfortunaley, the link provided with this picture leads to the wrong image.

Despite that it appears warped, there is not much I can say, with proven accuracy that is.




Now this image here has an amazing level of detail inculded, and truly exhibits your level of artistic mastery.

~ Wow, there really isn't anything much to critique about this! The only real problem I see is the multi strokes on his blade. But other that that.. wow.. just great! :O




I really hate judging buu fan-art. Since the character does not really follow physics as closely as humans do, I cannot truly judge him when put up upon the proffesional level as you have demonstrated here.

~ The one thing I can say is that his feet have gone terribly wrong. I'm not even sure how they ended up like that.




Again with the detail!

~ An interesting weapon, though the physics of it make no sense

~ His left art and hand have been warped, to a point where they look disturbingly awkward.

~ The jawline ends a bit too soon, giving his face strange, point like features.

~ His hips are thrust at an odd angle, like he's twisting them towards the viewer. This is somewhat of an optical illusion as well, and hard to fix. Though there are some easier ways to do this, it would take quite some doing.


We're almost done now!



Not my favorite of your pieces, just feels somewhat plain after the last two detail riddled pictures. :ermm:

~ The feet don't quite match up with his angle..

~ His clothing, though naturally puffy, is extrodinarily so. Creating an awkard feel over that entire area.

~ The hands are somewhat deformed, and thin.


And with that, were done!

Quite enjoyable working with your art. Hopefully I've provided some helpful insight on just what makes some of your pieces seem unsettled. Please do not take anything written here personally, these are my opinions, quite mallable and un-important if you merely turn the other cheek

Hope to hear from you soon.

quite the contrary, I greatly appreciate your critique. Many of the ones you said a lot on were my older pics (just something to keep in mind, the dates on the top). The other things you said about my later pics are things, I myself have noticed. The main thing you informed me of that I wasn't really aware of was my multistroke habit. Thanks though, finally I get a straight answer, I was sick of people always saying I'm good. Oh and keep in mind I've only drawn for about 4 years so I AM still an amateur, but at this point I need critiques to get better and move up to a professional level (which is what I'm shooting for).

jeez i never thought to look so close at drawings, maybe i should do that, and maybe mine'll turn out better......lol

I think yours would turn out better if you took your time with it.

or maybe if my pencills had earasers on them.......but i should try taking ti slow.....

sliced bread Wrote:or maybe if my pencills had earasers on them.......but i should try taking ti slow.....

Erasers are evil!

Erasing anything ruins a picture, one reason why I prefer pens to pencil

Why? So you can screw up and just throw out the paper? Oh and another thinkg Sagasu, pay close attention to the dates on my pics, you'll notice that the ones you said a lot more about were my older pictures. If you look at all my drawings in chronological order, it's clear I get better with each drawing.

i like erasers....but try to draw my pictures lightly than i go over in pen, i try to not waste to much paper....

Oh oH! A cool eraser is the Kneded Eracers.

yeah, wasting paper kills the environment man (ellroy moment).