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"Slim fast...YOU NEED IT BECAUSE YOUR FAT! and when you walk the ground shakes!"

"There's always room for Jello."
"When life gives you a ferret, shoot it through a potato launcher."

This one is self made
"When all else fails, lower your standards!"

PORN...its cheeper than dating...

BEER...helping ugly people get laid sence 1864

you look like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down..

Real tits
Fake tits...

WHO CARES!!!

THEY ALL TASTE THE SAME!

you snooze you lose

because its so damn true oh if anyone else said that sry i only read some lol

ok,ok how about....if the dog hadnt stopped to smell the shit he would have cought hte rabbit...meaning dont live your life off of "what ifs"...

you bastard sliced bread, you took that porn one from the sticker on the side of my TV and the same people made the Beer one lol. Goldie, you'll eventually not like Fake Tits, trust me, I was the same way when I was younger

really big ass tits kinda gross me out, if its bigger than my head ill stay away...another quote-"six in one, half sozen in theother"-this quote can only be said if somebody says the same thing you just said but it was worded different....

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit", as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it alot

What part of humpty dumpty said that humpty dumpty was an egg

Never try so hard in life, you'll never come out alive


I know plenty more but cant remember, ill edit whenever i remember