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+--- Thread: Think your funny? (/showthread.php?tid=4856)
Think your funny? - Shadamoo - 26-02-2005
K...
I have some blonde jokes...not sure if some are appropriate for here though.
Here are the ok ones.
How does a blonde kill a bird?
Throws it off a cliff
-------
How does a blonde kill a fish?
Drowns it.
-----
How does a brunette's mating call go?
Have all the blondes gone yet?
..
Yea, they pretty much suck.
Think your funny? - whiteninja - 27-02-2005
Shade Wrote:you apparantly have never played StarCraft. i had it on the N64 (it was so hard to beat), and i made up a building order that allowed you to mass 100 zerglings in 10 minutes then, mass produce even more until your minerals ran out. it was cool. Sd28, since i've played SC and played a little of ToS i did find it slightly humorous, but it was very long.wtf?????
so anyway:
a tv talkshow host tries to prove that there are blondes that aren't dumb. so he invites 101 of them on his show one day.
he asks the first blonde "whats 1+1?" she says "1" when the host says that's wrong all the other blodes yell "giver her another chance!".
the blonde gets another try and guesses 11, and after the host says that was wrong, the others call for another chance.
the blonde then guesses "2" and before the host says that she was right, all the other blondes yell "give her one last chance!"
Think your funny? - Shadamoo - 27-02-2005
Lol.
That blonde jokes good. I have another joke, but Im too lazy to type it out.
Think your funny? - Orpheus - 27-02-2005
Here's a little secret that might piss off credit card companies and potentially get them to stop harassing you with upwards of 20 credit card applications per week. Some people have known this for years, and since a fair amount of people will read this I feel that it's my duty and obligation to share this secret with you, because based on the email I've received, I don't always get the sharpest tools in the shed reading this (as opposed to the regular tools who read this). For the slow: I'm saying that you're stupid and wouldn't come up with this idea on your own; pay attention.
There are two types of junk mail that everyone gets: coupons for stupid bullshit that you don't want, and credit card applications for credit to buy stupid bullshit that you don't need. Here's how to take care of all your junk mail in one fell swoop: use the postage-paid envelope that credit card companies send you with their applications to send them the OTHER junk mail you receive. It's just that simple. Imagine the frustration of credit card companies when they have to spend millions of dollars every year on first-class postage just to open up an envelope and find Pizza Hut coupons inside. The envelopes are intended to be used for "BUSINESS REPLY MAIL," and so use them for their intended purpose. You're sending them valuable money-saving coupons which could mean big savings to credit card companies, and it makes good business sense to use them. Consider it a reply to their business proposition with a business proposition of your own: 35 cents off a large, one-topping pizza. In fact, they should be thanking you for giving them these money-saving opportunities. Or how about sending them credit card applications from other credit card companies? Be creative.
Not only will you be pissing off the credit card companies by wasting their time and money (since they have to spend time opening all your mail), but you'll also be pissing off all the other companies that send you junk mail: Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Burger King, Papa John's and endless AT&T and AOL "free trial" offers (although I do admit that the free trial CDs make great coasters). This is of course only true if the credit card companies don't have the business sense to use your valuable coupons, and if they did then everyone would be happy.
If you've ever been annoyed with their junk mail, send it back to them with some junk mail of your own. What can the credit card companies do? They only have two options:
1. Stop sending postage paid envelopes--unlikely since they know they'll lose a lot of applications if people are expected to pay for their own postage.
2. Stop harassing you with an endless flow of credit card applications.
They can't do anything about it because this is simply your way of telling them you're not interested, and giving them valuable coupons that could save them a lot of money, so spread the word: junk the junk.
if you like this go to http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net where i got it from
Think your funny? - misterbud - 05-03-2005
Quote:A redneck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that
will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the
line model. The redneck is suitably impressed, and buys it.
The next day he brings it back and says, "This chain saw is defective.
It would only cut down 1 tree and it took all damn day!"
The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and
the puzzled redneck says, "Heck, what's that noise?"
Quote:Mary received a parrot as a gift. The parrot was fully grown with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a curse: those that weren't curses were to say the least, rude.
Mary tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite things. Words and playing soft music...anything she could think of. Nothing worked.
She yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. She shook the bird and the bird got madder and more rude. Finally in a moment of desperation, Mary put the parrot in the freezer to get a minute of peace.
For a few moments she heard the bird swearing, squawking kicking and screaming and then, suddenly there was absolute quiet. Mary was frightened that she might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Mary's extended arm and said:
"I'm very sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior and I am sure it will never happen again."
Mary was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"
MUST KEEP TOPIC ALIVE!!!
Think your funny? - Teh EkwEE - 05-03-2005
XD the bird one was hilarious.
Alright I got one.
What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man in the middle of the road?
The dog had skid marks in front of it.
Think your funny? - misterbud - 05-03-2005
That was racist kthx.
Think your funny? - Eden Fourthedge - 05-03-2005
Teh EkwEE Wrote:XD the bird one was hilarious.*stunned silence*
Alright I got one.
What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man in the middle of the road?
The dog had skid marks in front of it.
...not cool.
Here's a terrible joke for you all.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Benjamin Franklin.
Benjamin Franklin who?
Aren't you glad I didn't say banana?
Some little kid told me this, and i though it was hilarious because it was so bad...
Think your funny? - Infinite8 - 09-03-2005
Eden Fourthedge Wrote:*stunned silence*I agree, I can't stand racial jokes!
...not cool.
Here's a terrible joke for you all.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Benjamin Franklin.
Benjamin Franklin who?
Aren't you glad I didn't say banana?
Some little kid told me this, and i though it was hilarious because it was so bad...
Heres a very lame, I mean lame joke my little sister told me:
What is a whitch that lives in the sand called?
A sandwhitch... stuuuupid!!!!
Think your funny? - whiteninja - 09-03-2005
whiteninja's little sister (when she was about 4 years old) Wrote:Why did the penguin look at the clock?.............. Because it had no face!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:it made no sense, but that made it even funnier. i still don't get it.