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+--- Thread: Think your funny? (/showthread.php?tid=4856)
Think your funny? - misterbud - 14-03-2005
Must resurect topic.
Quote: A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies, "That's not a lion! It's a giraffe."
Quote: An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem:
"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me.
I love you,
Your Father"
The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son:
"Beloved Father,
Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'.
I love you, too,
Ahmed"
At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.
A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son.
"Beloved Father,
I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes.
That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you,
Ahmed."
Think your funny? - Talex - 16-03-2005
5 people in a plane, tony blair, george bush, the pope, david beckham and a little girl. the plane is about to crash, and there are only 4 parachutes. tony blair
takes one and sais" i'm way too important to die", puts it on and jumps out. george bush also sais"i'm too important to die" so he takes one and jumps out.
david beckham also sais he's too important, so he takes one and jumps out, leavig the pope and the little girl. the pope sais "you take it, you've got your whole life to lead". then the girl sais "there are still 2 left, david beckham took my backpack
...
heheheheheh
Think your funny? - whiteninja - 17-03-2005
those "took my backback" jokes are all so lame...... misterbud! we need more jokes!
Think your funny? - Talex - 17-03-2005
whiteninja Wrote:those "took my backback" jokes are all so lame......You expect me to waist my best jokes on a Forum?
Think your funny? - Shade - 17-03-2005
hehehe... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...
yes... lol
Think your funny? - misterbud - 17-03-2005
Learn which words to use in a situation. It is "waste" not "waist".
MORE JOKES!!!
Quote:Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about, never knowing where he was or, sometimes, even who he was. She decided to take him to a nursing home.
At the nursing home, while the wife was filling out paperwork, a nurse had the gentleman sit in a chair. Suddenly the man started slowly leaning to his left. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his left side to prop him up. A few minutes later, he started leaning to his right. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his right side. Then he started leaning forward. This time the nurse strapped him into the chair.
After completing the paperwork, his wife walked up to him and asked, "So are you sure this place is okay?"
"It's okay," he said, "but why won't they let me fart?"
Think your funny? - Teh EkwEE - 18-03-2005
I loved the Ahmed one.
You all don't like racist jokes? Who the hell are you to say that racist jokes are bad? That joke was not racist at all, I could have put a Mexican, Chineese, Canadian, any of them in there. Inadvertenly a white guy could be put in there if your one of the former. My friends, have you watched a standup act in the last 20 years or so??? That majority of them are racist jokes. Theres nothing wrong with racist jokes. You can call me down, but when watching Chris Rock, or any other comic you laugh. That makes no sense what so ever. I could revert to dead baby jokes if you wish??? But it was specified earlier in the thread that we couldn't, so I won't. Misterbud's Ahmed joke was pretty racist, that's what made it funny. Lighten up, will ya'?
Think your funny? - Shade - 18-03-2005
Good point...
And according to Billy Connoly...
White, Anglo-Saxon, Hetrosexual males are the only race on the PLANET you can freely take the P**s out of and get away with it...
Think your funny? - Talex - 18-03-2005
Hay Misterbud i can't spell vey well to beggin with so i don't bother when i go on the internet to chat... especialy when i'm rushed
Think your funny? - whiteninja - 18-03-2005
Quote:a guy was sued and he lost almost everything because he had an incompetent lawyer and the plaintiff had a pro. so after that he went to the bar to get himself a drink, and he mumbled to himself: "lawyers are such a-holes"* shorty *
another guy overheard him and said "hey! i take offense at that!" and the first guy responded "are you a lawyer?"
and he said "no, i'm an a-hole"