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+--- Thread: The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic (/showthread.php?tid=5009)
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - DarkMagician - 20-02-2005
Damnit Grave! Why must you always want more? What more do you want?! I suddenly spring back to life, kill Kashima for fun and eat Ria!? Aiya! I cannot add any more! I wrote an epitaph. A RHYMING EPITAPH!
Well...I shall request the thread be left open forever. As testament to my skills, and fondness of PSO and Ragol Forums.
If you give me ideas, I MAY be able to add a little more...
By the way, this story was after all of the other ones. Including yours. Seeing as how I destroyed the galaxy...
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - Grave_Guardian - 20-02-2005
Of course I want more but I understand were your coming from. I am patient *coughs mostly* I can wait until the day you may start again. Its not like I want it write away, when you deside to write again, then that is when I will want more.
As for the timeline, why couldn't I figure that out?
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - DarkMagician - 20-02-2005
Grave... Somebody earlier asked me when THIS STORY was set. At any rate, perhaps you ARE not intelligent enough to work it out, Hahahah!
I will probably start a new story someday. I would neve leave it longer than a few weeks at any rate.
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - Kashima - 20-02-2005
I cant wait until the next story starts meself
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - DarkMagician - 20-02-2005
Meself? Surely MYSELF!
Damn, I hate pressure, Hehe. Perhaps I shall have to start it TODAY!
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - Grave_Guardian - 20-02-2005
No no DM do not stress because of us. Take a break if need be. No need to rush.
The intellegent thing was uncalled for but funny. And I was joking. But I did set myself up for it.
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - Kashima - 20-02-2005
No do indeed feel rushed you have a public to serve! finally hit 400 ! :bandit:
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - Mirinee - 20-02-2005
DarkMagician Wrote:A RHYMING EPITAPH!Yes, agreed. Excellent RobDeLaMorte's Final Epitaph For DarkMagician!
...
Finished already?! I'm sorry, but I can't say this is good fanfiction. I'll review.
Firstly, I didn't understand your story. It's really confusing and you leave me with a million questions. I suggest a re-write, but only if you can be bothered.
The less serious:
Your spelling is not too bad, but remember to start a new line for each new speaker.
The more serious:
Plot:
You missed out the most important factor of good fanfiction. With a plot, your characters' actions will have more meaning.
Character development:
Your characters all appear to have the same unexplained personality.
Other:
The story should flow naturally and effortlessly, but it seems a bit artificial.
There is not enough tension, especially towards the end. You did not justify well DarkMagician's self-destruction.
You have too much purposeless dialogue which do not further the characterisations.
Please note that this post is not a flame. I attempted to give constructive criticism even though English was my weakest subject at school. I would not go out of my way that much to flame someone!
I would have voted "Poor... although I have NOT seen better. Do not be discouraged to try again".
True, you are much better at being a mage than writing fanfiction, but I still liked your fanfiction never-the-less because it was PSO-related.
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - Ria - 20-02-2005
Mirinee Wrote:Yes, agreed. Excellent RobDeLaMorte's Final Epitaph For DarkMagician!
...
Finished already?! I'm sorry, but I can't say this is good fanfiction. I'll review.
Firstly, I didn't understand your story. It's really confusing and you leave me with a million questions. I suggest a re-write, but only if you can be bothered.
The less serious:
Your spelling is not too bad, but remember to start a new line for each new speaker.
The more serious:
Plot:
You missed out the most important factor of good fanfiction. With a plot, your characters' actions will have more meaning.
Character development:
Your characters all appear to have the same unexplained personality.
Other:
The story should flow naturally and effortlessly, but it seems a bit artificial.
There is not enough tension, especially towards the end. You did not justify well DarkMagician's self-destruction.
You have too much purposeless dialogue which do not further the characterisations.
Please note that this post is not a flame. I attempted to give constructive criticism even though English was my weakest subject at school. I would not go out of my way that much to flame someone!
I would have voted "Poor... although I have NOT seen better. Do not be discouraged to try again".
True, you are much better at being a mage than writing fanfiction, but I still liked your fanfiction never-the-less because it was PSO-related.
I didn't want to say anything, but now I speak. I agree with Mirinee. My say is, I don't see much descriptive writtign here abotu what's going on. It seems in some parts you rush so far ahead I'm left thinking "how did that happen?" I reckon you are leaving points out here.
Don't get angry or anything, you're story is quite acceptable but you need more work. If you don't belive me, I know a review site (unfortunatly for TM and anime fics only) and if they got ahold of your fic they review it and be much harsher. Trust me, taking bad review spurs yuo on to become a better writter. Honestly IS the best policey you know.
I could prove to you how much I've improved within hmm.. 3 years. But my first attempts were so poor I'd die if anyone read them T_T;
Advice: Read some stories or books.
The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic - Kashima - 20-02-2005
Come on people lets give dm a break i know criticism is in the spirit of making someone better but lets not make him feel bad , as it stands dm i like the story you have amazing writing skills that may or may not need to be refined depending on who reads but dont feel bad i am currently working on a fic i plan to post that will probably be ripped to shred by our more opinonated friends