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+--- Thread: Dusk the forgotten android (/showthread.php?tid=7177)
Dusk the forgotten android - Anti Hacker - 29-06-2005
Try to create a realistic atmosphere even inf the situation is an unrealistic one, don't just describe visible things. You have to touch on all the senses, make things textured (like a ceramic well) and describe smells to.
Dusk the forgotten android - Red King - 29-06-2005
ah cool.... is there any more of it coming up?
Dusk the forgotten android - Anti Hacker - 29-06-2005
Yes but I am tired now and it's a spur of the moment kida thing. I have a free or two tomorrow at college so more will be done then (if I do not have work to do
)
Dusk the forgotten android - Red King - 30-06-2005
ok cool... cant wait for it
Dusk the forgotten android - Hivemecha - 30-06-2005
TIRED!?! how can you be tired ! i force you to take a cup of cofee or something and continiue writing!
sry i got carried away its just to darn good! cant wait till the next chapter
keep it up! you are sharing the first place with ctrl-alt-del and Bob and George tried to write a story once gotta translate it to english though maybe ill post it some time Edit: u dont mind i save all chapters in a word doc do you? Maybe put it on my homepage if i get permition
Dusk the forgotten android - Poo Fly - 30-06-2005
*HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE*
that really is excellent Anti, Well done!
Dusk the forgotten android - Anti Hacker - 30-06-2005
Dusk looked around warily. Whether this was a result of his previous experiences through the broken gates, or whether he had become more human as a result of these experiences he did not know. Cautiously he led the ranger team to the caved entrance of the cave. "It's here" he said. "This is the shaft that the enemies were pouring out of". "Right, letâs get this show on the road" said Scope in a husky voice. "Warhawk, can you blow a hole in this?â "Yes sir!" War Hawk took his guided rocket system from his back holster and aimed it on what his scanner told him to be the weakest point in the rubble wall. "Fire away!"
There was a tremendous explosion, heat waves shimmered through the air breaking around the team, bent double and shielding themselves with their hands they advanced into the shaft.
Half an hour later in the twisted system of shafts and pot holes Finchy noticed something on the wall. "Photon residue, it must have formed as the result of photon based digging equipment operating at such low levels. The pressure caused it to form." A drop of the photon residue was captured in a specimen chamber. It shimmered and flickered relaxingly and contained all the colours in the spectrum visible to the human eye. "Hah, a photon drop, that's what we'll call it for now, right, so you say digging equipment was blasting into the ground here Finchy?" Scope looked over his shoulder as he received no reply. "Finchy, that is right isn't it?". There was silence for a moment or two, and then Finchy responded, turning around shaking slightly. Every footstep, every voice seemed to echo more loudly then usual. "The narrow shaft we came down, sir, was formed naturally, but here where it is straight..." she looked at the shaft wall again "From the earth flow, sir... they were trying to get out! To escape, from something, something terrible".
There was a rumble from the deep, then shrieks, but not those of innocent victims. At least, not those of human victims. They were the shrieks of the spirits trapped inside the distorted, altered beasts, now lumbering their way towards the group of explorers. "Shit" Scopes eyes widened as shadows started appearing from tunnel entrances on all sides. "Analysis, Warhawk?". Warhawk looked closely at the commanding officer "I believe in human terms I can roughly translate it as we are screwed sir". "Why do they always send me on the suicide missions Finchy, you think they're trying to get rid of us Finchy?" The murderous cries came closer. Finchy smirked. "We're not done for yet sir! Look here, it appears some of the men trying to escape before were left alive. See here? Thereâs a small tunnel, they were trying to dig out manually! Let's hope they made it, eh sir?" The party clambered into the dank tunnel, it may have been scorching hot when it was formed but that was one aspect of the tunnel that had rapidly changed.
"Thank you everyone, I hope you make it out of here alive" Dusk suddenly interrupted. "I must find the cause for these monstrosities so I may prove to the head of office my innocence and clear my name. It may not be worth much now but I hope to see you all again with a better reputation." "What are you blathering on about you stupid robot! Get in the tunnel! That is an ORDER!" boomed Scope, but it was too late, the android had chosen his path, down into the deep. They must follow their own paths into what they hoped would be the light of day. And so the newly formed company was broken as quickly as it had united.
Dusk could only hope the army would be down in the deep still fighting the monsters, he had a horrible feeling that the team that first landed here and dug down (on the ship codenamed the Gran Squall) were all long dead. Brute force could not be his tactic, he must clear his name, clear his memories. They came back to him every day, like drops of summer rain that would never fade away.
Dusk the forgotten android - Hivemecha - 30-06-2005
Oh no!
cant wait 'till the next chapter so.. so... its so beutifull!
Dusk the forgotten android - Anti Hacker - 30-06-2005
Thank you very much
I will continue soon...
Dusk the forgotten android - Hivemecha - 30-06-2005
Good for you! (and us
) this is probably the best fan fic ive ever read on this forum.