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Poems - Infinite8 - 12-06-2005
This was already started in IL and I thought I'd share it here too...
"Uncontrolable anger running down my palm
Sweat running down my face, knowing I hafta stay calm
I cry,"I can't take it anymore!"
As my knees drop to the floor
Miracuously, without having tearducts, I cry
I watch a single tear fall from my face and solidify
Growing darker as it falls, till it hits the soil
Then it shattered, unleashing great tormoil
The last thing I saw that day was the destruction of my foe
I don't know how I did it, or if I even want to know
I can't let it happen again
Or it'll be the destruction of my kin"- DUN
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So, how do you like it? Dun is a character of a videogame that I plan to make someday... and so that poem just describes a scene.
Karasu Murder Wrote:Wow dude...powerful stuff right there. The rhyming is good, but I feel that you don't necessarily need it for this piece, it's powerful enough on it's own. I can see a lot of emotion behind it....very well done
Everyone tells me that I shouldn't rhyme... but the truth is... it makes me think better... and I can put together a line better.... I just can't get most of the poems that don't rhyme... it doesn't draw out how it makes me feel as well... thankies for your generous comment!
Okay heres another one: This one might be a little depressing... I'm not sure... my girlfriend says it is though....
Time ticks on; never ending
Life here isn't forever; stop pretending
When you're young, you wanna be older
And when you're old, that desire becomes colder
You spend life seeking after all the thrills
You gotta try it all even if it kills
And yet you fear death; ask for it to go away
Everpleading, until the end, for life to stay
But alas death overcomes you...
The one thing the world's united through- Foreshadow
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So what do you guys think so far?
Poems - l3atosai - 12-06-2005
Time ticks on; never ending
Life here isn't forever; stop pretending
When you're young, you wanna be older
And when you're old, that desire becomes colder
You spend life seeking after all the thrills
You gotta try it all even if it kills
And yet you fear death; ask for it to go away
Everpleading, until the end, for life to stay
But alas death overcomes you...
The one thing the world's united through- Foreshadow
--------
So what do you guys think so far?[/QUOTE]
Hi im new to this site so um ya how you all doing?
nice poem it is a bit depressing, mind hearing one of mine?
There are many kinds of love , one sided , couple love , passionate love , greedy love , and so much more but to me thus it is a one sided love.
i love without being loved back, i watch as another is loved by whome i love ,
in this love there is a candle witch grows dimmer and dimmer by each passing day, and when they candle flicks out this love shall move on.
as days go by i acquire a new love a new meaning to live and as 1 new candle sets to another it says " you are my eldest brother, you represent another time another life another love, another hope waiting to be lit ones more.
i hope its not too bad Well Thx for reading it
Poems - zero132132 - 12-06-2005
Great stuff guys. That one with love really hits home right now. Great poems though. Working on one my sself.
Poems - Infinite8 - 12-06-2005
Quote:Hi im new to this site so um ya how you all doing?
nice poem it is a bit depressing, mind hearing one of mine?
There are many kinds of love , one sided , couple love , passionate love , greedy love , and so much more but to me thus it is a one sided love.
i love without being loved back, i watch as another is loved by whome i love ,
in this love there is a candle witch grows dimmer and dimmer by each passing day, and when they candle flicks out this love shall move on.
as days go by i acquire a new love a new meaning to live and as 1 new candle sets to another it says " you are my eldest brother, you represent another time another life another love, another hope waiting to be lit ones more.
i hope its not too bad Well Thx for reading it
Thats some good stuff... and Zero DID really need som'n like that....
Did you get my pm that I sent you? Well, either way welcome!
Hmmm... I don't think that any of my recent poems have anything to do with love.... nope just a bunch of depressing type stuff... hehehehe... I should probably look on the bright side of things more often in my poems.... thanks for motivating me just now... perhaps I'll write one tomarrow about love and post it on here then... sound good?
Poems - zero132132 - 12-06-2005
If you want to that's cool. Don't feel obligated just because of me though. I think that I'll post the poem tomorrow night.
*warning*
It's definitely going to be depressing and I think I'll call it "Falling Alone."
Edit: Were you talking to me about the PM?
Poems - l3atosai - 12-06-2005
zero132132
IL-Infinite8
thx its so far one of my favorite's i made it in class
Poems - Infinite8 - 12-06-2005
No... I was talking to l3atosai about the pm...
Oh... but I NEED to look on the bright side more often... cause all my poems seem depressing...
I'll be waiting for your poem...no matter how depressing it may be...
Until then I bid thee farewell.
Poems - zero132132 - 12-06-2005
Good luck. I actually wrote about half of it when I still thought that she always thought of me as a friend.
Edit: Anything else to post l3atosai?
Poems - l3atosai - 12-06-2005
zero132132 Wrote:Good luck. I actually wrote about half of it when I still thought that she always thought of me as a friend.
Edit: Anything else to post l3atosai?
wel maybe....
try this 1?
accross every love their is heartache and breakage,
accross every path their is eazy mistakage.
Thus when i see those beatuiful eyes,
i picture a ring and lots of surprise
::tear:: that whats my first love poem ( made *4* years ago )
Poems - zero132132 - 12-06-2005
Not quite as good as the first but still fantastic.