+- Forums (https://forums.ragol.co.uk)
+-- Forum: Banter (https://forums.ragol.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: General Chat (https://forums.ragol.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=25)
+--- Thread: a poem i wrote.. (/showthread.php?tid=9173)
a poem i wrote.. - demeiz - 13-02-2006
im searching for salvation
im searching for an end
im searching for a life
one i comprehend
do i see the shadows
or is it only me
ive shown you all the answers
but still you cannot see
they plauge my every thought
its tearing down my mind
i see them all around me
and yet i am still blind
a terror deep within me
a secret that cannot be told
i am the only keeper
of this terrible load
a poem i wrote.. - Cye Zero - 14-02-2006
Not bad but it sounds really sad.
a poem i wrote.. - demeiz - 14-02-2006
its meant too, its just me going insane
a poem i wrote.. - Teh EkwEE - 14-02-2006
Yeah, a bit too Emo for me.....I don't like Emo....If you added a few metal riffs to it, and busted out some bass and some drums on it, I don't think it'd be that bad.
a poem i wrote.. - demeiz - 14-02-2006
its not emo
for the love of god, please dont let anything i ever write be emo
and yeah some metal in there would be good
a poem i wrote.. - Anti Hacker - 15-02-2006
Teh EkwEE Wrote:Yeah, a bit too Emo for me.....I don't like Emo....If you added a few metal riffs to it, and busted out some bass and some drums on it, I don't think it'd be that bad.
Emo just means emotional, and that's how people get sometimes. I think it's awesome, well done demeiz!
a poem i wrote.. - Double Edge - 15-02-2006
ooOooO pretty nice! I've written a poem or two myself, but they're not rhyming or anything; that's not really my style.
Nicely done!
a poem i wrote.. - Phantom_RAcast - 15-02-2006
demeiz Wrote:im searching for salvationSome changes I would have made. Not to bad though.
im searching for an end
im searching for a life
one i comprehend
do you see the shadows
or is it only me
ive shown you all the answers
but still you cannot see
they plauge my every thought
its tearing down my mind
i see them all around me
and yet i am still blind
a terror deep within me
a secret that cannot be told
i am the only keeper
of this terrible burden
a poem i wrote.. - demeiz - 15-02-2006
well burden doesnt ryme with told so thats out the window
and yeah your right, that was a typo