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My FanFic
Neo1989 Offline
Member
***
Posts: 191
Threads: 17
Joined: Nov 2003
#37
23-11-2003, 10:23 AM
The story-line isn't bad it just needs a lot of filling out. Add some more adventure, action and possibly a bit more comedy. Oh, also try and lower the use of writing in the sentence 'Purplem RAmar' and put a note at the bottom of the page explaining who who is.

And anyway I couldn't write a story like that 3 years ago otherwise my English teacher wouldn't have been breathing down my neck constantly.
RAmarl-Ayane Lv88[Yasminkov 7000v+35] [Rukmin]
HUcaseal-BUFFY Lv45[Delsabers Buster+9 n shield] [Sato]
FOmarl-Elena lv21[hildebears cane] [Angel Wing]
RAcas-Neo1989 lv10[Justy 23ST+15] [Diwari]

Im back after a short reprive so beware
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Messages In This Thread
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 19-08-2003, 03:54 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 19-08-2003, 04:13 AM
My FanFic - by Schoichet - 19-08-2003, 05:46 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 19-08-2003, 05:08 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 26-08-2003, 04:27 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 26-08-2003, 05:43 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 12-09-2003, 12:46 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 13-09-2003, 09:43 PM
My FanFic - by Aaron_Blitzmage - 14-09-2003, 09:31 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 14-09-2003, 06:01 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 14-09-2003, 08:45 PM
My FanFic - by Phantom_RAcast - 14-09-2003, 08:58 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 15-09-2003, 11:54 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 16-09-2003, 12:31 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 16-09-2003, 04:36 AM
My FanFic - by Phantom_RAcast - 19-09-2003, 12:34 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 19-09-2003, 05:08 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 04-11-2003, 05:26 AM
My FanFic - by Phantom_RAcast - 04-11-2003, 11:34 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 05-11-2003, 12:41 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 05-11-2003, 06:11 AM
My FanFic - by Zer0 - 05-11-2003, 07:00 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 05-11-2003, 11:01 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 06-11-2003, 12:08 AM
My FanFic - by Phantom_RAcast - 06-11-2003, 05:25 AM
My FanFic - by Zer0 - 06-11-2003, 05:31 AM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 12-11-2003, 05:17 PM
My FanFic - by Schoichet - 15-11-2003, 12:18 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 18-11-2003, 04:54 AM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 19-11-2003, 04:31 PM
My FanFic - by Phantom_RAcast - 20-11-2003, 09:59 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 21-11-2003, 12:46 AM
My FanFic - by Thesord - 21-11-2003, 01:04 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 21-11-2003, 01:44 AM
My FanFic - by Thesord - 22-11-2003, 01:32 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 22-11-2003, 09:59 PM
My FanFic - by Neo1989 - 23-11-2003, 10:23 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 24-11-2003, 12:16 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 24-11-2003, 01:03 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 25-11-2003, 06:09 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 26-11-2003, 02:22 AM
My FanFic - by Schoichet - 27-11-2003, 02:37 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 27-11-2003, 02:49 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 27-11-2003, 08:12 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 27-11-2003, 10:56 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 28-11-2003, 10:25 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 28-11-2003, 10:30 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 29-11-2003, 12:43 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 29-11-2003, 02:05 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 29-11-2003, 07:51 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 29-11-2003, 08:22 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 01-12-2003, 05:07 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 03-12-2003, 05:11 AM
My FanFic - by Keako - 03-12-2003, 06:25 AM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 04-12-2003, 03:31 PM
My FanFic - by Ton - 05-12-2003, 10:38 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 06-12-2003, 04:13 PM
My FanFic - by decswxaqz - 06-12-2003, 05:55 PM
My FanFic - by Ton - 06-12-2003, 06:20 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 06-12-2003, 07:14 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 06-12-2003, 07:37 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 06-12-2003, 08:02 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 06-12-2003, 08:45 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 06-12-2003, 09:23 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 06-12-2003, 09:28 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 09-12-2003, 12:48 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 09-12-2003, 12:52 AM
My FanFic - by Phantom_RAcast - 09-12-2003, 03:20 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 09-12-2003, 04:18 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 09-12-2003, 02:02 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 10-12-2003, 02:08 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 10-12-2003, 02:41 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 10-12-2003, 02:50 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 10-12-2003, 02:53 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 10-12-2003, 03:29 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 10-12-2003, 03:43 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 11-12-2003, 06:21 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 11-12-2003, 07:18 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 11-12-2003, 12:58 PM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 11-12-2003, 01:12 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 11-12-2003, 01:15 PM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 11-12-2003, 01:19 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 11-12-2003, 01:25 PM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 11-12-2003, 01:26 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 11-12-2003, 01:27 PM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 11-12-2003, 01:30 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 11-12-2003, 01:31 PM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 11-12-2003, 01:38 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 11-12-2003, 01:50 PM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 11-12-2003, 01:52 PM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 11-12-2003, 01:54 PM
My FanFic - by Hyozanryu - 11-12-2003, 01:55 PM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 11-12-2003, 01:59 PM
My FanFic - by Hyozanryu - 11-12-2003, 02:05 PM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 11-12-2003, 02:05 PM
My FanFic - by Keako - 11-12-2003, 03:44 PM
My FanFic - by Hyozanryu - 11-12-2003, 09:52 PM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 12-12-2003, 12:31 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 12-12-2003, 12:36 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 12-12-2003, 12:46 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 12-12-2003, 01:05 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 12-12-2003, 01:09 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 12-12-2003, 01:22 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 12-12-2003, 01:24 AM
My FanFic - by Issac - 12-12-2003, 01:24 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 12-12-2003, 01:25 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 12-12-2003, 02:01 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 12-12-2003, 02:03 AM
My FanFic - by Vahn RAmar - 12-12-2003, 02:09 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 12-12-2003, 02:50 AM
My FanFic - by Ash L-M - 12-12-2003, 01:21 PM
My FanFic - by Issac - 13-12-2003, 12:30 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 13-12-2003, 12:41 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 13-12-2003, 01:46 AM
My FanFic - by Ton - 13-12-2003, 01:50 AM
My FanFic - by Mini_Bert - 13-12-2003, 01:53 AM

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