16-04-2005, 05:36 AM
Erm, I'm not quite sure where the email comes into this, and why SHE is mad at YOU now... but I'll wing it. At least this time I can help a little (as opposed to the last suicide/depression thread I saw here that was already over with).
I can't say I'm an expert on romance - quite the opposite actually (don't ask). I don't have experience with being seriously depressed, either, although I try my best to put myself in someone's position and understand them... IMO I'm rather good at it (and I don't brag much). I DO have experience dealing with people like you however... two people who mentioned suicide at least once, and one who was just having other severe problems... at any rate, they're fine now to the best of my knowledge (and I'll tell you all the truest thing about these conversations: you have to choose your words EXTREMELY carefully).
What springs to mind here, is selective listening. People are going to tell you a lot of different things if you tell them you're depressed... some good, some not so good (beware religious fanatics - and no, I'm not totally against religion or religous people, it's just that I've seen many whose replies have little or no real value; let's face it, when you're that depressed the last thing you want to believe in is an almighty, benevolent God, because it seems like the ultimate joke). If at this point you really believe you can make up with your former girlfirend, then more power to you... although after a line like that, personally, my trust in her would be all but shattered... at any rate, if by chance you get back together and then break up again, I would suggest that you not listen to her anymore.
I'm sorry to be unable to put it any less bluntly; sometimes you have to reach for those defense mechanisms and take ten, just to clear your mind so you can think rationally. Again, I have no experience, but my theory is that truly depressed or suicidal people tend to get that way because they allow their feelings to guide all their decisions. "Follow your heart/gut/spirit" only works to an extent - at some point you have to plant your feet and let your logical mind take control, because that's usually how you do your best thinking. It's like being swept up in a shallow stream - you can let youself turn end over end as it carries you along, or you can dig in your feet and choose your direction from there.
Hope that helps a little. :ermm:
I can't say I'm an expert on romance - quite the opposite actually (don't ask). I don't have experience with being seriously depressed, either, although I try my best to put myself in someone's position and understand them... IMO I'm rather good at it (and I don't brag much). I DO have experience dealing with people like you however... two people who mentioned suicide at least once, and one who was just having other severe problems... at any rate, they're fine now to the best of my knowledge (and I'll tell you all the truest thing about these conversations: you have to choose your words EXTREMELY carefully).
What springs to mind here, is selective listening. People are going to tell you a lot of different things if you tell them you're depressed... some good, some not so good (beware religious fanatics - and no, I'm not totally against religion or religous people, it's just that I've seen many whose replies have little or no real value; let's face it, when you're that depressed the last thing you want to believe in is an almighty, benevolent God, because it seems like the ultimate joke). If at this point you really believe you can make up with your former girlfirend, then more power to you... although after a line like that, personally, my trust in her would be all but shattered... at any rate, if by chance you get back together and then break up again, I would suggest that you not listen to her anymore.
I'm sorry to be unable to put it any less bluntly; sometimes you have to reach for those defense mechanisms and take ten, just to clear your mind so you can think rationally. Again, I have no experience, but my theory is that truly depressed or suicidal people tend to get that way because they allow their feelings to guide all their decisions. "Follow your heart/gut/spirit" only works to an extent - at some point you have to plant your feet and let your logical mind take control, because that's usually how you do your best thinking. It's like being swept up in a shallow stream - you can let youself turn end over end as it carries you along, or you can dig in your feet and choose your direction from there.
Hope that helps a little. :ermm:
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