Later days

[Kashima]

To god and kisanzi in particular this isnt goodbye forever just for a time. I have several large scale battles i need to fight offline before i can continue my efforts here with a clear head. Trust if i were not to take this break i would end up banned before the week was out with some of the actions i possibly planned to take. This hiatus is in the best interest of everyone i wouldnt want to spite anyone or ruin my name here based of unsorted emotions. Next is all the troubles i face offline we all know im not happy at home i havent hid that fact from anyone who browses these forums im at the end of the school year by the end of may i will be garunteed to graduate ive already received an acceptance letter from the one college that personally matters to me and yet i havent shared the news with anyone in my family i know they wont be happy for me and will only have negative responses to what ive chosen to do with my life outside these walls. Im a little frightened to be honest i see the culmination of 18 years worth of blood sweat and tears in front of me and i also see the very large and obstinate obstacles blocking that path. I can hear it now my mother acting as she always does saying my choices are breaking her heart and making her medical conditions worse my father threatening to disown me yet again and me alone against all of it no real tangible support there to take my side on any of it. Im tired the struggle has been hard up until now its almost disheartening to believe that the worst of it has yet to come. Once ive sorted everything out within my personal life i have every intention to return to this site and try to right everything which i feel is wrong so i hope this gives some solace to those who will truely miss me i may fade away but i will never truely burn out