25-07-2005, 11:20 PM
And too a most destressing thread comes the gentle soothing words of an old fogey who has children of his own, even if they are step-children. And I'm also in the middle of a career change to become a Counsellor.
As a parent I worry about what my children do, and their mother, Redhead, worries even more. We don't worry for the sake of worrying, we worry because experience has taught us otherwise. Yes, as an adult I was strung along by a married woman who lied about everything she told me, and also had her husband and her friend maintain the lies over the internet and phone calls. In retrospect I'm quite appalled at what went down, and I'm glad to say that I came out the other side of this bizare situation with the married couples marriage in tatters and only my pride badly dented. My wife, Redhead, was also messed about by internet people.
You also have the media, aka newspapers and television, talking about peadophiles using the internet to 'groom' children for their own sexual needs. Stories of teenage girls running off with 30-somethings also make the news. There was even the man who found someone who allowed themselves to be murdered and cannabilised, all through the medium of the internet. Naturally, these cases are rare, you are more likely to be hit by a bus than have one of the three situations above happen to you. The problem is that ratings for TV shows and sales of newspapers are important. Scandals and gruesome incidents sell, some 16 year old giving his phone number to another 16 year old so they can further their platonic relationship is uninteresting.
As a child or young adult, or if you just happen to live still, you need to respect the rules set by your parents. Unless your Mum and Dad are beating you up, starving you, seriously mentally abusing you or sexually abusing you then the situation in your home is not that bad. At the end of the day any reasonable parent has their childs safety at heart, and that safety extends to the home as well. As I've said to my step-son many times when he has broken the rules or pushed them "When you have your own place you can do whatever you want, until then you need to work with the rules set here."
Of course, as parents we are also prone to error, and while teenagers have their frontal lobes to blame their mood swings on, we adults have to admit that we get it wrong despite our emotions supposedly being more controlled. I can happily state that my mother still mothered me and treated me like a 13 year old when I hit my 30th birthday. Also as parents we do need to learn to talk with our offspring, not talk at them, and accept that little Joey may become a Brickie instead of a Brain Surgeon.
I doubt a 24 hour depression will need counselling. But if you do still feel depressed then sticking your fingers in a plug socket will cure your problems. I'm joking by the way, that would be stupid by anyones standards. If your now all crispy, and somehow alive, might I suggest you really do need counselling, or at least nuturing so you can't have any kids of your own.
Well, although this doesn't solve any of your problems, I do hope it has opened everyones eyes just a little bit to the joys of parenthood with a teenager. And just to add a little bit of a twist to the whole posting: I met my wife, the forumn member known as Redhead, through an AOL chatroom. She gave me her phone number the next night and I flew her to Amsterdam with me 6 days later, having only ever spoken to her on the phone and internet. The only difference between us and countless teenagers is that we were both in our late twenties and living in our own homes.
Regards
UK Jester
As a parent I worry about what my children do, and their mother, Redhead, worries even more. We don't worry for the sake of worrying, we worry because experience has taught us otherwise. Yes, as an adult I was strung along by a married woman who lied about everything she told me, and also had her husband and her friend maintain the lies over the internet and phone calls. In retrospect I'm quite appalled at what went down, and I'm glad to say that I came out the other side of this bizare situation with the married couples marriage in tatters and only my pride badly dented. My wife, Redhead, was also messed about by internet people.
You also have the media, aka newspapers and television, talking about peadophiles using the internet to 'groom' children for their own sexual needs. Stories of teenage girls running off with 30-somethings also make the news. There was even the man who found someone who allowed themselves to be murdered and cannabilised, all through the medium of the internet. Naturally, these cases are rare, you are more likely to be hit by a bus than have one of the three situations above happen to you. The problem is that ratings for TV shows and sales of newspapers are important. Scandals and gruesome incidents sell, some 16 year old giving his phone number to another 16 year old so they can further their platonic relationship is uninteresting.
As a child or young adult, or if you just happen to live still, you need to respect the rules set by your parents. Unless your Mum and Dad are beating you up, starving you, seriously mentally abusing you or sexually abusing you then the situation in your home is not that bad. At the end of the day any reasonable parent has their childs safety at heart, and that safety extends to the home as well. As I've said to my step-son many times when he has broken the rules or pushed them "When you have your own place you can do whatever you want, until then you need to work with the rules set here."
Of course, as parents we are also prone to error, and while teenagers have their frontal lobes to blame their mood swings on, we adults have to admit that we get it wrong despite our emotions supposedly being more controlled. I can happily state that my mother still mothered me and treated me like a 13 year old when I hit my 30th birthday. Also as parents we do need to learn to talk with our offspring, not talk at them, and accept that little Joey may become a Brickie instead of a Brain Surgeon.
I doubt a 24 hour depression will need counselling. But if you do still feel depressed then sticking your fingers in a plug socket will cure your problems. I'm joking by the way, that would be stupid by anyones standards. If your now all crispy, and somehow alive, might I suggest you really do need counselling, or at least nuturing so you can't have any kids of your own.
Well, although this doesn't solve any of your problems, I do hope it has opened everyones eyes just a little bit to the joys of parenthood with a teenager. And just to add a little bit of a twist to the whole posting: I met my wife, the forumn member known as Redhead, through an AOL chatroom. She gave me her phone number the next night and I flew her to Amsterdam with me 6 days later, having only ever spoken to her on the phone and internet. The only difference between us and countless teenagers is that we were both in our late twenties and living in our own homes.
Regards
UK Jester
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