24-09-2005, 10:08 PM
nice! i like it!
right, variety. woman jokes!!
Why are brides dressed in white?
So they can match the microwave and oven
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't, there's a clock on the oven!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're gonna to want to shoot it.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, she's already been told twice!
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%:
Wedding cake.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
The last fight was my fault! My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
right, variety. woman jokes!!
Why are brides dressed in white?
So they can match the microwave and oven
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't, there's a clock on the oven!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're gonna to want to shoot it.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, she's already been told twice!
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%:
Wedding cake.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
The last fight was my fault! My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.