Rate these lyrics.

[N1NJ4]

You have potential. But your lyrics make me want to kill myself.(trust me plenty of people already want to do that for me) You should work on rhyme scheme. Perhaps try to accent the words of the song differently. Add more of an inhanced vocabulary as well. Keep trying though. Remember: Succeeding is firing one more time at your enemy than your enemy fires at you.

haha. they shouldnt rub off THAT bad. i mean sure its a little depressing but kill yourself? nah....
Yeh ive actually excelled at the vocab part of it. and i actually have 9 songs written... including finished version of those ones. each song is probably a page long.... chorus included in that though, but remember.... its all in the delivery in the vocals too. sure i could sing in a downcast voice and glommy way... but if i deliver them in an upbeat (compare/contrast again) Matchbook Romance type singing it can be less of a ''cry me a river build me a bridge and get over it'' song. you know?

as for being compared with MCR....... i highly dislike them and would never want them to sing my song.

Thanks for the constructive criticism though everyone. Ill post a link to my other songs if u guys would like to see them.