The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic

[Mirinee]

A RHYMING EPITAPH!

Yes, agreed. Excellent RobDeLaMorte's Final Epitaph For DarkMagician!

...

Finished already?! I'm sorry, but I can't say this is good fanfiction. I'll review.

Firstly, I didn't understand your story. It's really confusing and you leave me with a million questions. I suggest a re-write, but only if you can be bothered.

The less serious:

Your spelling is not too bad, but remember to start a new line for each new speaker.

The more serious:

Plot:
You missed out the most important factor of good fanfiction. With a plot, your characters' actions will have more meaning.

Character development:
Your characters all appear to have the same unexplained personality.

Other:
The story should flow naturally and effortlessly, but it seems a bit artificial.
There is not enough tension, especially towards the end. You did not justify well DarkMagician's self-destruction.
You have too much purposeless dialogue which do not further the characterisations.

Please note that this post is not a flame. I attempted to give constructive criticism even though English was my weakest subject at school. I would not go out of my way that much to flame someone!

I would have voted "Poor... although I have NOT seen better. Do not be discouraged to try again".

True, you are much better at being a mage than writing fanfiction, but I still liked your fanfiction never-the-less because it was PSO-related.