The Saga Of DarkMagician: My fanfic

[Ria]

Yes, agreed. Excellent RobDeLaMorte's Final Epitaph For DarkMagician!

...

Finished already?! I'm sorry, but I can't say this is good fanfiction. I'll review.

Firstly, I didn't understand your story. It's really confusing and you leave me with a million questions. I suggest a re-write, but only if you can be bothered.

The less serious:

Your spelling is not too bad, but remember to start a new line for each new speaker.

The more serious:

Plot:
You missed out the most important factor of good fanfiction. With a plot, your characters' actions will have more meaning.

Character development:
Your characters all appear to have the same unexplained personality.

Other:
The story should flow naturally and effortlessly, but it seems a bit artificial.
There is not enough tension, especially towards the end. You did not justify well DarkMagician's self-destruction.
You have too much purposeless dialogue which do not further the characterisations.

Please note that this post is not a flame. I attempted to give constructive criticism even though English was my weakest subject at school. I would not go out of my way that much to flame someone!

I would have voted "Poor... although I have NOT seen better. Do not be discouraged to try again".

True, you are much better at being a mage than writing fanfiction, but I still liked your fanfiction never-the-less because it was PSO-related.

I didn't want to say anything, but now I speak. I agree with Mirinee. My say is, I don't see much descriptive writtign here abotu what's going on. It seems in some parts you rush so far ahead I'm left thinking "how did that happen?" I reckon you are leaving points out here.

Don't get angry or anything, you're story is quite acceptable but you need more work. If you don't belive me, I know a review site (unfortunatly for TM and anime fics only) and if they got ahold of your fic they review it and be much harsher. Trust me, taking bad review spurs yuo on to become a better writter. Honestly IS the best policey you know.

I could prove to you how much I've improved within hmm.. 3 years. But my first attempts were so poor I'd die if anyone read them T_T;

Advice: Read some stories or books.