A message to my friends- Depression is an epidemic I suppose...

[Faulkie]

Sorry I posted so late.

Wow, that really sucks man. Although I can see that it's unfair that you couldn't even explain yourself and that they couldn't trust you, I can see where your parents are coming from as well. How would you feel knowing your kid had given his/her phone number to someone on the internet without knowing the circumstances. Just think of that.

I don't have to worry, my mum leaves me alone on the internet and never asks what I'm doing. She knows I have contacts with the online world though, from when Lee-Yoshi sent me a copy of Blue Burst a couple of months back. She doesn't seem to care - which would be bad if I was irresponsible.

Anyway, don't let it get you down, man! And you should explain the circumstances to your parents ASAP.

[UK Jester]

And too a most destressing thread comes the gentle soothing words of an old fogey who has children of his own, even if they are step-children. And I'm also in the middle of a career change to become a Counsellor.

As a parent I worry about what my children do, and their mother, Redhead, worries even more. We don't worry for the sake of worrying, we worry because experience has taught us otherwise. Yes, as an adult I was strung along by a married woman who lied about everything she told me, and also had her husband and her friend maintain the lies over the internet and phone calls. In retrospect I'm quite appalled at what went down, and I'm glad to say that I came out the other side of this bizare situation with the married couples marriage in tatters and only my pride badly dented. My wife, Redhead, was also messed about by internet people.

You also have the media, aka newspapers and television, talking about peadophiles using the internet to 'groom' children for their own sexual needs. Stories of teenage girls running off with 30-somethings also make the news. There was even the man who found someone who allowed themselves to be murdered and cannabilised, all through the medium of the internet. Naturally, these cases are rare, you are more likely to be hit by a bus than have one of the three situations above happen to you. The problem is that ratings for TV shows and sales of newspapers are important. Scandals and gruesome incidents sell, some 16 year old giving his phone number to another 16 year old so they can further their platonic relationship is uninteresting.

As a child or young adult, or if you just happen to live still, you need to respect the rules set by your parents. Unless your Mum and Dad are beating you up, starving you, seriously mentally abusing you or sexually abusing you then the situation in your home is not that bad. At the end of the day any reasonable parent has their childs safety at heart, and that safety extends to the home as well. As I've said to my step-son many times when he has broken the rules or pushed them "When you have your own place you can do whatever you want, until then you need to work with the rules set here."

Of course, as parents we are also prone to error, and while teenagers have their frontal lobes to blame their mood swings on, we adults have to admit that we get it wrong despite our emotions supposedly being more controlled. I can happily state that my mother still mothered me and treated me like a 13 year old when I hit my 30th birthday. Also as parents we do need to learn to talk with our offspring, not talk at them, and accept that little Joey may become a Brickie instead of a Brain Surgeon.

I doubt a 24 hour depression will need counselling. But if you do still feel depressed then sticking your fingers in a plug socket will cure your problems. I'm joking by the way, that would be stupid by anyones standards. If your now all crispy, and somehow alive, might I suggest you really do need counselling, or at least nuturing so you can't have any kids of your own.

Well, although this doesn't solve any of your problems, I do hope it has opened everyones eyes just a little bit to the joys of parenthood with a teenager. And just to add a little bit of a twist to the whole posting: I met my wife, the forumn member known as Redhead, through an AOL chatroom. She gave me her phone number the next night and I flew her to Amsterdam with me 6 days later, having only ever spoken to her on the phone and internet. The only difference between us and countless teenagers is that we were both in our late twenties and living in our own homes.

Regards

UK Jester

[Kashima]

I hope uk jester is still on by the time i manage to type all of this out. I understand all that you are saying when you express how the media hypes up things that happen over the internet often only showing the most extreme and tragic cases but i understand what infinite eight is going through because i myself had to deal with the exact same thing. Infinite and i had talked a great deal over pms and through threads and then ims before he ever decided to give me his number im sure in his own mind he was constantly testing my character and intentions everytime we held a serious conversation to see if i met him any harm. The fact of the matter is he used wise judgement skills because if not his number would be publicly posted here for every person who registers to see.The fact of the matter is he got in trouble because his parents thought it was unwise to give his number to someone he met over the internet which is true but the fact of the matter is through my words and actions even if they may be false he does know me. On top of that id like to vouch for myself when saying this i have no ill intent for anyone on this site that goes for the people i like and the ones i dont at the end of the day everything we say here is just words no more than that. I too met my girlfriend in an aol chatroom uk jester Karasu murder of these very forums i was only sixteen at the time her being two years older than myself i waited until i was eighteen (( a legal adult in the united states )) before going to visit her alone for the first time my parents had much to say about it and i respected their opinions but at the end of the day they were ruled by the biases the media showed them as opposed to trying to get to know this person their son wanted to go visit i snuck to go see her against both parents wishes and had the time of my life fortunately for us everything we told one another was true i knew this from day one i can spot a scam or a charleton a mile away and i knew she was genuine two weeks later i returned unharmed and unscarred if anything happier for the trip and now my parents accept her i just think infinite eight wishes his parents would trust his judgment a bit more given all he knows about me and how i present myself on these forums

[Teh EkwEE]

Spoken well. My meanings may not always be 'clear' to everyone else, but they are too me. That's the way I've always had to convey myself, 3 or 4 times to get a message across.

Let me think it out this time:

I, too have talked to Infinite and don't know him as the type of person who would have one of these 'depressions'. It merely appears to me, that he saw how much attention others get when they break down on the fourms, no names mentioned.......this time.......and maybe he sought to seek help. But depression is not cured by kind words and encouragement, it's helped through treatment and medication where it applys. Infinite doesn't, and isn't, one of these types. He got scowlded for something, and that launches him into a depression. Infinite we're at the age were we defy our parents, it's natural for them to go ballistic. But life goes on. Imagine a week from now when you're hanging out with your friends, how stupid this will seem. How utterly stupid and pointless it was to become depressed over something as small as that. You let yourself get down for something someone else said was wrong........If you live life that way, you transcend the mask and become what others think of you. So brush it off and keep going.

There, is that any better?......

Oh yeah, that was Deadly Zero.....You both had Iori avvys at the time.....

[Kashima]

Never had an iori avatar mine went winged guy, vincent, soujiro, a demon char of mine, and then kazuma finally. As for what you said about him seeing how much attention someone else got attentioned gained from threatening suicide and saying im depressed but otherwise fine are on two very different levels he wasnt doing it for attention he was honestly depressed because he got in trouble over something that he felt wasnt all that severe.How about we ask him next time hes on instead of dubbing him an attention seeker

[Teh EkwEE]

*Lifts eyebrow* I said it as nicely as possible. But he was seeking attention and comfort for a problem no one could help him with, on here anyway.....and like I said it wasn't that big a deal after all, he said it was a 24 hour thing, apparently he's not depressed anymore. sometimes I think you guys are taking estrogen pills.......

[Kashima]

I find it highly amusing you associate feelings of compassion and sympathy toward a fellow human being with feminine nature and estrogen

[Faulkie]

You two should calm down or this will get locked.

EkwEE, I really don't believe he was seeking attention, he just wanted advice and support about his problem. Kashima, if you feel the same way (which it seems you do) then don't bother arguing with him. He seems adamant that he was seeking attention, and you're probably not going to change his mind.

The important thing is that Infinite8 is ok now, not what caused it. Besides, we are all friends here - there's no reason to accuse Infinite8 of stuff. We need to help each other, and if we can't even do that, there's no hope for humanity.

[UK Jester]

Taking Estrogen pills! Are you implying that two male members of this forumn wish to become... lady boys! Hmmm, maybe us parents are right about you guys keeping everything secret when talking to people on the web.

Ok joke over.

Yes, I know what you mean Kashima and I'm glad you had a great time with your girlfriend. Also, at the age of 18 you also had absolute power over you decisions as to what to do outside of your parents house.

Teh EkwEE: hmm, looks like I'm going to have to spank a staff member here. But seriously, some people do use the internet to garner attention because they leech and feed off of it. Infinite-8 posted how he felt about a situation in his life that was of the here and now. Infinite-8 also posted it in a forumn were he was allowed to, and broke no board rules that I am aware off. Shortly after the posting, the man in question posted again to say that he felt better now, an example of how we normally cope with bad situations, we grit our teeth and deal with it because we have to lest we saunter down the path of real depression which, from experience, is incredibly disruptive to all aspects of life. I'm sure that had Infinte-8 been a leech he would have been spotted by now, milking every kind comment and over-reacting to Teh EkwEE to garner more sympathy. Meanwhile Teh EkwEE would have beaten his mum to death with a lump of metal while screaming 'BITCH!' ad nauseaum. Can anyone spot the joke I just made?

As a parent I accept that my children will do things I don't think they should do until they are older. I know my son has watched DVDs and played games that he isn't old or mature enough to do yet. I'm sure there is a chance that one of my children will have sex underage. I know my kids swear when they are with their friends and supposedly out of earshot. My son has tried smoking, thankfully he hated the taste and just didn't get what was so cool about it.

So, if any of you youngsters decide to meet anyone off the web then remember the age old adage. Take a friend with you if you can, meet in a public area and let someone you trust with the knowledge of were you are going and what you are doing come the worst case scenario. I'm not condoning theese actions, but if you do decide to do so then I hope it works out in a good way.

If you wish to give out phone numbers then give out your mobile phone number. I know that most teenagers have mobiles now, sorry if you haven't got one yet. Giving out your parents land line number is really going to annoy them if they said you can't and then find out the truth.

This isn't an easy win situation for either the the parents or the teenagers. The parents worry about their children and want to protect them no matter how much we want to treat them like adults. Teenagers want the freedom of choices that their parents have and also a desire to get out and enjoy life before they get old and boring like their parents. The parents often fail to undestand that their offspring are now young adults and not children that can be easily directed. Young adults see their parents as authorative killjoys whose ideas of entertainment is outdated music from the 80's, often the teenagers peer group puts pressure on the individual to rebel with stories of their own actions which may or may not be true.

This is a tough situation for Infinite-8, it's a tough situation for any young adult who does not have utter control over their actions. It's also a tough situation for the parents who are trying to relinquish control but are still worried about their offspring. There is no answer to what can be done. It is something that both sides will have to learn to deal with until they go their seperate ways.

End of story/lecture/unbelievably boring post*

Regards

UK Jester
*delete as appropriate or make up your own sentance

[Shadamoo]

Off the point of what you are talking about, I also have problems with people over the internet and my parents.

My parents hate me talking to people I dont know, because they think they are all going to come and kiddy fiddle me or something, but I'm well too smart for that, I'd never meet someone from over the internet...

But, the people I've known from over the internet, I have stopped one black girl from killing herself after her white boyfriend (from the 'net) said "I'm not racist, but I hate black people", and (after I had a go at the guy for 45 minutes) she told me she was about to kill herself, so I stopped her from doing that....
Thats the only time i've really got involved with someone from over the internets life.
And so, that hasnt got anything to do with what you were originally talking about...
At least I tried to get involved in this conversation...
Ooh, wait...
I've never called anyone from over the internet, and I've seen the only people on my current MSN list who I dont know in person (Faulkie [webcam ages ago] and Ivan [pics on his website]).
Other than that, never let your sister near you when you are having a phone conversation!