Funny Funny Funny

[Talex]

This needs more variety...
...
...
don't look at me, i only serve as a souce of humour of others i know no jokes

[Sebastian]

*scared*

3 blondes walk into a building. i know theyre stupid, but you would've thought one may have seen it!

awwwww man i was gonna say that one -_-.

Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a hong kong phone book! >_>

[Mentavoir]

lol!
ok let me c if i have one, hmmmmmmmmmm


there was an old guy and another talkiung 2gether,



1guy:heyy bob, i just got the most expensive hearing aid on the face of this planet! it cost 32.5 billion dollars.

2guy:wow! what kind is it?


1guy:uh well it's about 2:30.

[jarl]

nice! i like it!

right, variety. woman jokes!!

Why are brides dressed in white?
So they can match the microwave and oven

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't, there's a clock on the oven!

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're gonna to want to shoot it.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, she's already been told twice!

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%:
Wedding cake.

Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

The last fight was my fault! My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

[Arrogantelf]

Blonde terminology.


Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Hangnail -- coat hook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favouring young people
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal Illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited

[jarl]

lol, i couldnt stop laughing when i read them!! YOINK!!

[Mentavoir]

o my gosh jarl


those r so funny im telling those to all my friends lol........hmmm....


do i have anymore?


Ok i have one,

one day there was a blonde, brunette, and redhead. (they were all married to the same man).

so the 3 of them went to get a job in the C.I.A.

The redhead went up to the guy in charge and this is wat he said.

-ok to get in, you husband is in that here room over there, tied up with duck tape on a chair.take this gun, go in, and shoot him right now. (guy gives redhead gun)

redhead-I CANT DO IT!!!!(girl cries)waaaa

then the brunette went up

head guy-ok you herd me go in there and shoot your man.

(girl walks up to door.)

-I CANT DO IT!!!!waaaaaaaaa

then the blonde came up.

-i can do it boss.

she takes the gun, and goes in.

there is suddenly screams and bangs and bumps and blood on the fogged windows.

the blonde came out sweaty and covered in blood.

blonde-the gun was blank so i killed him with the chair.

LOL!


~note~
The joke is the gun was empty because the boss was just going to see if she had the guts to do it, he didnt really want her to kill him lol.

[Sd28]

i call this the truth about aol

http://thatvideosite.com/view/30.html

[Arrogantelf]

Lol, that was funny. I do pity Aol users for sure....

You know your a redneck when.....
.......your family tree don't fork.
.......you go to a family reunion to pick up chicks.
.......you describe the "day your ship came in" when you won a case of oil.
.......you have to rake leaves from the kitchen.

[Moonwraith]

Time for something a bit different...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"