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Finally, My PSO Fan-fic

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Finally, My PSO Fan-fic
Teh EkwEE Offline
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Posts: 2,607
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Joined: Oct 2004
#10
18-03-2005, 12:42 AM
Yes, very good. Although I agree the sudden situation of the two is a bit strange. They just meet each other, and then go fighting. Her giggling at the begining right after her crying seems a little strange also. And his power getting introduced right at the begining is a little weird, I understand this story is going to be more about discovering who he is, rather than discovering where this power came from. I'm sure the power will tie into that, but it's not the main point.

I love your descriptions too. They are very rich and detailed, I can imagine exactly what's going on, and I can see it very clearly in my mind. Great stuff, keep up the good work, I want to know what happens.
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Messages In This Thread
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kisanzi - 12-03-2005, 04:54 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kashima - 12-03-2005, 05:06 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Hayami - 12-03-2005, 02:15 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Karasu Murder - 12-03-2005, 05:46 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kisanzi - 13-03-2005, 04:17 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Karasu Murder - 13-03-2005, 06:14 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Hayami - 13-03-2005, 12:28 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kisanzi - 17-03-2005, 10:55 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Karasu Murder - 18-03-2005, 12:13 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Teh EkwEE - 18-03-2005, 12:42 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Hayami - 18-03-2005, 02:55 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kisanzi - 20-03-2005, 10:54 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kashima - 20-03-2005, 11:05 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Hayami - 21-03-2005, 09:51 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Karasu Murder - 31-03-2005, 05:46 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kisanzi - 01-04-2005, 04:30 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kisanzi - 01-04-2005, 04:31 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kashima - 02-04-2005, 05:53 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Hayami - 02-04-2005, 06:47 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Karasu Murder - 07-04-2005, 01:23 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kisanzi - 08-04-2005, 12:28 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Aroth - 10-04-2005, 06:45 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Kashima - 10-04-2005, 10:23 PM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Talim009 - 15-04-2005, 06:42 AM
Finally, My PSO Fan-fic - by Hayami - 14-04-2005, 05:19 PM

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