Fan fic

[Sagasu]

...

sigh..

You still not spacing your sentences, and the dialogue is confusing.

Try spacing out what people say by a line of space, like so.



"blah blah blah blah blah blah" So and so said

"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" So and so replied

"blah blah blah" added so and so.

But instead of blah, you have your dialogue, and so and so is replaced by character names. This is a techniqual example, and doesn't fit into the actual text of your story, that you will have to work out on your own.

The title is odd, for the chapter has nothing to do with it :ermm:

But keep going! I'll enjoy watching your talent grow. If you need a good example of the formatting I speak of, follow the link in my siggie to my fiction. That will provide more help than I can give you with a thousand words.