a poem i wrote..

[demeiz]

im searching for salvation
im searching for an end
im searching for a life
one i comprehend

do i see the shadows
or is it only me
ive shown you all the answers
but still you cannot see

they plauge my every thought
its tearing down my mind
i see them all around me
and yet i am still blind

a terror deep within me
a secret that cannot be told
i am the only keeper
of this terrible load

[Cye Zero]

Not bad but it sounds really sad.

[demeiz]

its meant too, its just me going insane

[Teh EkwEE]

Yeah, a bit too Emo for me.....I don't like Emo....If you added a few metal riffs to it, and busted out some bass and some drums on it, I don't think it'd be that bad.

[demeiz]

its not emo
for the love of god, please dont let anything i ever write be emo

and yeah some metal in there would be good

[Anti Hacker]

Yeah, a bit too Emo for me.....I don't like Emo....If you added a few metal riffs to it, and busted out some bass and some drums on it, I don't think it'd be that bad.

Emo just means emotional, and that's how people get sometimes. I think it's awesome, well done demeiz!

[Double Edge]

ooOooO pretty nice! I've written a poem or two myself, but they're not rhyming or anything; that's not really my style.

Nicely done!

[Phantom_RAcast]

im searching for salvation
im searching for an end
im searching for a life
one i comprehend

do you see the shadows
or is it only me
ive shown you all the answers
but still you cannot see

they plauge my every thought
its tearing down my mind
i see them all around me
and yet i am still blind

a terror deep within me
a secret that cannot be told
i am the only keeper
of this terrible burden

Some changes I would have made. Not to bad though.

[demeiz]

well burden doesnt ryme with told so thats out the window

and yeah your right, that was a typo