I cant help but think it is my fault

[Jay]

Sorry to hear that.
"You can't see the ends to all means"
You don't know what this experience will do for you. I know it sounds kinda harsh and unsympathetic but some good things might come out of this. You will probably try to better yourself in memory of this person?
When I didn't do as well as planned in my exams as hoped, I was gutted. I cried in fact. But because I failed, I went to a different uni. And if it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have met my girlfriend. So as yet another saying goes "Every cloud has a silver lining".

You should try to look at this in a positive way and try to honour your friends death and not blame it on yourself. Chin up

ok dec i took ur advice and and i have found something i am good at and i can let my anger oy Kick Boxing so i guess every cloud has got a sliver lineing thanks dec.