I cant help but think it is my fault

[Deadly Zero]

I feel like crying for you cuz same thing happened to me. I was walking with Ashley (Yes he was a guy) and we were walking home from a school science fair and it was getting dark so we started running to get home faster and we got to a street that was all dark and we just started crossing it when we got to the other side ashley noticed he dropped his glasses so i said id get them for him since he cant see very well but he said no and went and got his glasses when he did find them i was looking to see what time it was when he gets hit by a drunk driver and i just sat there and watched him hit the ground and i got pissed so i start throwing little rocks at the car and i think i broke the windsheild in the back.I called the cops about 10 minutes later the ambulance arrives and then i call up his parents and told them what had happened. I sat by his side as long as theyd let me and just cryed i didnt eat for like 4 days cuz of the depression i felt. but when i finally gathered enough guts to go back to school and face the world again i only thought of one thing and thats what ashley said a day earlier when my Girl freind broke up with me. he said "Life goes on and one of the lessons in life is you have to learn how to lose someone or something you love and that you are very close to." he said this a day before he got hit and all i thought about for the next few months were some of his last words. this happened bout a year ago and i even drew a pic of him and have a pic from when we first met 3 years ago.
Even now i break down for no reason and cry about what happened but like a great freind once said the hardest lesson in lfe is learning to lose some one or something you love. now i feel like crying again